


Happiness Therapy

by Sweety_Mutant



Series: Secretly We All Love Angst - Prompts [4]
Category: The Great Escape (1963)
Genre: (If you ship them hard enough), (implied) - Freeform, Angst, Best Friends, Canonical Character Death, Friendship/Love, Gen, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweety_Mutant/pseuds/Sweety_Mutant
Summary: I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mad_Amethyst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Amethyst/gifts).



> Answer for this prompt [We All Secretly Love Angst](http://sweetymutant.tumblr.com/post/149169379514/secretly-we-all-love-angst-sentence-starters) on Tumblr, asked by [Mad_Amethyst](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Amethyst)  
> The prompt was a regular "ship + sentence" one, and the sentence here was "I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… Back when you were actually happy." 
> 
> I do not own The Great Escape... TT_TT

  During the whole journey from the Gestapo’s quarters to who-knows-where, Mac, though he would not have voiced it, was as worried as Roger. He was worried that their trip would come to an abrupt end, and a part of himself knew that he was right to worry. He had seen it coming since the beginning, it was the only possible outcome. Mac was too calm. He should have wanted to struggle, to fight one last time for his life. But here, he felt drained. They had succeeded, reaching for a Pyrrhic victory, and now had come the time to pay the price. He was too tired to do anything anymore. He had lost too much. At least, he was still with Roger. They had both changed, grown older. Mac saw it every day, he could feel himself drift away from who he had been four years ago. He saw it in Roger, and much to his horror, if they had not spent the war together, if they had met again at the end, Mac would not have recognized his best friend anymore. Yet, they had stayed together, and Mac fancied – a pretty little white lie – that it had helped them survive. Or at least stay sane. He wondered if he would have the strength to keep this lie up until the end…

The truck stopped. Maybe the end would come sooner than expected. As he climbed down, Mac tried not to think too much about it. He stayed by Roger’s side as they walked, and soon they were a few steps away from the others. Roger looked at Mac, that special gleam in his eyes that meant ‘read my thoughts, I’ve got something to say.’ Mac smiled to encourage the words, whatever they may be.

“You know Mac, all this, the organisation, tunneling, Tom and Harry, kept me alive.”

I’m afraid I agree, Mac wanted to answer. He was so sorry that it had had to come to that. He would have found a way to keep Roger alive, if only… if only he had been able to. If only he had been enough. But what could he do against so much suffering and nonsense? What could he do against war? He had stayed at Roger’s side, unfaltering. He had supported him, done his best. He had seen his friend slip from his grasp, slip away into foggy darkness. He had seen the friend he cherished wither. Roger went on:

“Even though we…” he made a gesture with his head, as if to dismiss defeat. As if it was that easy. “I’ve never been happier.”

The genuine tone of his voice hurt Mac to no end. He could read in Roger’s eyes, locked with his own, locked with his soul, that he believed it. Roger smiled, and for a second he was back to his old self. Mac had to keep smiling for Roger’s sake. He had had to keep smiling, even if the words that would come out of his mouth now would break everything. But it was too late now. If their trip was to end here – and it would, no doubt about that – he needed to tell Roger how he felt. For the sake of all that had happened before, all that they had lived and that Mac had never been able to forget. He had been reassuring for too long.

“I am glad… to hear you say that.” Mac paused then, waiting for something to happen, anything that could prevent him from talking. “Yet, for the past year or so, I feel like I’ve been looking for who you used to be… back when you were actually happy.”

Mac almost instantly regretted his words. He had not meant to say it like that… yes he had. It was the truth. It was his truth, he who always stayed behind, he who was silent. He who always smiled. Now had been the only time to say it. Mac’s eyes never left Roger’s and what he saw there hurt. Truth hurt more than getting killed.

Roger opened his mouth as if to answer, but he never had the time to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this fic, feel free to leave a kudo or comment if you want to make me happy!


End file.
